Breaking News! The Mormon Third Eye has just been designated the official Middle-aged Mormon Man blog of Super Bowl 2015!
Just when one thinks the hype and hysteria surrounding the Super Bowl has achieved astronomic heights, mankind announces another obtuse good or service that seeks to ride this remarkable advertising wave. The MTE is certain that centuries from now, when cultural anthropologists sort through the records of our age, they will detect only a slight relationship between the sport of football and the Super Bowl.
The MTE, always seeking to be current, popular, and relevant, has superficially decided to take it’s place in the front seat of the bandwagon and claim it’s own specious association with the most important event in the universe today. I list the following bits of evidence to support my hypothesis that the Mormon Third Eye should, in fact, be the official middle-aged Mormon Man blog of the Super Bowl:
- I have written extensively on Super Bowl topics, here, here, here, and here;
- I always capitalize “Super Bowl;” it must be important;
- My old ward missionary companion, Ed Mulitalo, played in a Super Bowl;
- I like soup, especially homemade soup, and I especially like to consume it from bowls;
- I am a Super Bowler- I always score well in our Wii family bowling tournaments, and in fact had to bowl magnificently to graduate from BYU;
- I have never actually sat down and watched a Super Bowl, but I know many who have, and besides, that doesn’t seem to be a requirement for becoming Super Bowl-associated merchandise.
So, there you have it. As the new official middle-aged Mormon Man blog of Super Bowl, I expect readership of my blog to skyrocket, particularly right before, during, and after the game. If it doesn’t, I’ll quickly drop my endorsement of the event and associate myself with an activity more appropriate for the tone and spirit of the MTE- perhaps the official middle-aged Mormon Man blog of April 2015 General Conference?