I See… Your Friendly Neighborhood Ice Cream Family

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS TRUE; NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THEIR BLESSINGS

Somewhere in a normally nondescript Mormon suburb nestled peacefully below the looming mountains of the Wasatch Front, Suzy Beewhyyou heard the magic tinkle of the ice cream truck tune gently invite her to burst outside and throw money away on a frozen fantasy. Those of you who grew up young without a nice cream truck in your neighborhood are really missing a memory.  Daddy Beewhyyou, instinctively knowing that time was of the essence, quickly pulled out a ten-dollar bill and handed it to the quivering Suzy.  “Bring me the change” shouted Daddy, as Suzy sprinted out the door to chase down the ice cream truck.

A few minutes later Suzy returned home with the evidence of a bought fudgesicle splattered across her face but nothing else.  “Where’s my change?” Daddy B inquired gently. “Um, the ice cream man didn’t give me any…” replied Suzy innocently. Daddy B was morally enraged when he later tracked down Mr. Bob, the Ice Cream Man, who slyly refused to admit his guilt in taking advantage of Suzy’s total ignorance of the worth of money to enrich his own pockets.

Daddy and Mommy B swept into action. They visited Mr. Bob’s  ice cream wholesaler, described his crime, and asked that he be fired. The ice cream company was sympathetic, but politely explained that Mr. Bob was an independent contractor, and that the best they could do is refuse to sell him their ice cream.   It was then that Daddy and Mommy B. received a bolt of inspiration. They would take the law of capitalism into their own hands. They would drive the evil ice cream man out of business in their neighborhood by replacing him with a family- your friendly neighborhood ice cream family.

This is how they did it. The Beewhyyous pulled money out of their hard-earned savings and bought enormous amounts of ice cream from an ice cream wholesaler, then purchased a deep freeze to hold it all. The next time the evil Mr. Bob drove his ice cream truck down their street, Mommy B announced that any of the neighborhood kids were welcome at her house for ice cream at a much lower price than Mr. Bob charged. Soon Mr. Bob realized that driving down the street where the Beewhyyous lived was not worth his time; the Beewhyyous had the market for ice cream treats on their street all locked up.  For the next many summers, the Beewhyou household was the center of the summer scene for neighborhood kids.

Now the Beewhyyous are empty-nesters.  The kids are gone, but they still keep a freezer full of ice cream bars on hand, just in case, and everyone lived happily ever after, except for Mr. Bob.