My Mormon Third Eye: I See… the Preserving Tradition Award

Sunday, November 25, 2012

I See… the Preserving Tradition Award

For over the past 5+ years, the Mormon Third Eye editorial staff has been carefully scouring the globe, searching for that one business entity worthy of a little-known but highly-prized award, the MTE Preserving Tradition Award. To receive the award, a qualifying business must be able to clearly show that via a completely selfish act, they have accidentally preserved a noble tradition.

Finally, a deserving organization has been selected. The envelope please. Announcing: the first annual Preserving Tradition Award goes to… JC Penney!

Reference previous MTE posts associated with Black Friday to learn exactly what the MTE PTA committee was looking for in a winner. We’ve singled out JC Penney because, unlike other big box stores who buckled under merchandising pressure to open as early as 8:00 pm on Thanksgiving day, it was one of the few major retailers that elected to selfishly reward its own employees and uphold the longstanding Black Friday tradition by not opening until 6:00 am the following Friday morning.

I had followed Black Friday news during Thanksgiving week, and consciously decided to reward Penney by visiting their store early Friday morning. Their bold, gutsy move allowed me to wake up before the crack of dawn and drag two of my favorite nieces and nephews out to the Cool Springs Galleria in trendy Brentwood Tennessee. We experienced again the pageantry and excitement of waiting with other brave souls to invade a store for that next big doorbuster deal of the century. At exactly 5:40 am, a loose mass of carelessly loitering shoppers instinctively crowded in front of the grand glistening mall entrance window doors, like a herd of hungry sheep crowding around a feeding trough. At exactly 5:52 a brave JC Penney’ floor manager turned the key and opened the store for business. We politely but firmly pushed with the rest of the mass of rapidly moving humanity until we reached the target, the $8 small home appliance section, and snatched up two grills and a toaster oven.

It didn’t have to be small home appliances; we would have done the same for $8 Pikachu teeshirts or $5 watches. It was the opportunity to partake in a semi-sacred tradition, bond with complete strangers, and become a part of something bigger than ourselves. I enjoyed discussing important issues with my sister’s teenage son and daughter- being a hipster shopper, lunch at Chickees, and why WWII Japanese fighter pilots are missing their pinky fingers. We also regressed into wistful regrets and fears that this may be our last Black Friday bonanza- the latest news is that the Thanksgiving evening shopping experiment produced record profits for renegade retailers like Target and Walmart.

Anyway, no doubt some substantial changes will need to be made to ensure that anything resembling Black Friday and the traditions it accidentally inspired continues in future years. Would you wait in line and discuss world events with complete strangers for a .50 Big Mac, or a $50 root canal? I would. Hopefully the marketing masters of the merchandise universe of tomorrow will recognize that creating the perfect shopping experience includes catering to the wisdom of the very first crowdsourcing phenomena- the memories made via Black Friday shopping.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.