Sunday, August 14, 2011

I See... Families are for Losers

A few months ago, the Mormon Third Eye posted a shocking expose on matrimony and conclusively proved that marriage was for losers. Since then, MTE has done even more painstaking observation and research, and now can decisively state that not only marriage, but... families are for losers too! Amazing!

Here is how it works. After 23+ years of laughs and sighs and sorrows, we are losing our son. He left his room last night for the last time. The next time we see him, almost a month from now, we will be preparing to lose him to a beautiful worthy young woman in a House of the Lord somewhere in Utah. The apron strings will be cut and he will begin to cleave to his chosen Eve. I'm not surprised- we've met her, and there is no way we can compete with her. Besides, a great man I respect once said that “the best thing we can do for our children is to teach them to live without us.”

Of course, we know that we gain more than we lose in this process of promoting eternal marriage for our children, but the bottom line right now, at this moment, is that the room upstairs that was temporarily empty during mission and college years, is now permanently devoid of a little boy that marched around with a wooden spoon sword sticking out of his diaper defending us against evil, as well as a lively teenage sports star who slept with his basketball.

So, not only are my wife and I losers at marriage, we are also losers at family life. We are also confident, however, that we've found more than we've lost.


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