Sunday, December 4, 2016

I See... World Peace

There is no better time to talk about world peas than Christmas. “Peas on earth, goodwill towards men!” How can we achieve world peas? The Mormon Third Eye has a plan.

First, it's important to understand what world peas really is/are. The intrepid Mormon Third Eye research staff learned from Wikipedia that peas were first grown in the Middle East in the 5th century BC; that you can make bioplastic out of pea starch; and that the annual 'Peasenhall Pea Festival' in the English village of Peasenhall, Suffolk attracts hundreds of visitors every year, with events such as Pea Shooting, the World Pea Podding Championships and National Pea Eating competition. There are at least 15 different major varieties of peas grown in the world today. China and India are peas leaders; America is a distant third.

Image result for peas

So... armed with this knowledge, how do we achieve world peas?

The first step is to admit that, just like international law, there is no such thing as “world peas.” Peas grown in China, India, and America are Chinese, Indian, and American peas respectively. The only chance for world peas is to have the UN decree that the ground where peas are grown does not belong to any particular country; it belongs to the world- kind of like the South Pole and the International Space Station. If the world can agree on climate change, world peas should be easy.

The second and final step would be to send huge shipments of world peas to war-torn areas of the world such as Iraq, Syria, and Detroit. Peas brings people together.


What a minute... I'm so embarrassed... I think most people are more concerned about another kind of world peace... hmmm....

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