Editors note: This actually happened. I have witnesses.
The Mormon Third Eye is a documented fine connoisseur of BYU football fandom. The pageantry and prose of it all are woven into this blog's DNA.
I likewise have a similar appreciation for the power of scriptural prophecy to protect our souls from evil. I recognized it's awesome power long before the primary song became popular and scripture mastery became a required seminary skill.
These two wide wonderful worlds of the MTE magically collided on a steamy yesterday afternoon in. Lincoln, Nebraska and Raleigh, North Carolina.
The BYU Cougars were playing the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln; I was enjoying the game from my couch in Raleigh. The True Blue BYU in me was not adverse to calling upon any available source of strength to support my beloved Cougars in their seemingly impossible quest to win an Nebraskan home opener, a fantastic feat that had not been accomplished since before the birth of my grown son and his wife. They would need some help. I went to the scriptures.
Just after the game started I leaned over to my wife relaxing on the same couch and carefully explained the severity of the situation. I dramatically pointed to my uncut sheet of seminary scripture mastery cards from my side of the couch and proclaimed that if BYU's situation ever approached the utterly hopeless, I would start punching out the cards and organizing them as a last ditch effort to call upon the powers of heaven on their behalf. Her measured response was to quickly scoot to the other side of the couch; she did not want to get accidentally singed by the sacrilegious thunder that would surely strike me down.
At the opening of the 4th quarter my Cougars were in trouble. The Cornhuskers were ahead 28-24 after a touchdown scored on the heels of a poorly thrown Taysom Hill pass. The tide had turned in Nebraska's favor; they were wearing down our defense by chewing up time on offense, and we were quickly losing hope. In a desperate plea to restore hope, I instinctively reached for the uncut sheet of scripture mastery cards and started punching them out and organizing.
What happened next will live forever in the history of the Mormon Third Eye (or at least as long as blogs are extant on the Internet, which could be a very long time). As I slowly, systematically ran my fingers along the perforated edges of each card, BYU gently came alive and stopped Nebraska on some third downs. Hope was turning in our direction. By the time I arrived at Malachi 4:5-6, and the hearts of the children were turning to their fathers, it was 4th and 42 with one second left. BYU quarterback Tanner Mangum then proceeded to smite Nebraska with a Hail Mary touchdown pass to senior Mitch Matthews.