Sunday, March 15, 2015

I See... the Voice of Evil

I have seen and heard the voice of evil, and it is... Siri!

Yes, you read it right. I have empirical, undeniable evidence that Siri, that omnipresent artificial thinking voice that roams around our Iphones with the answers to everything, is actually the voice of evil. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were preparing to attend a special couples fireside with Elder Todd D. Christofferson as the main speaker (you can read more about that here). These preparations included synching complex schedules, which led to a few uncharacteristically frosty verbal exchanges between us. As soon as I realized my need to confess and forsake the sin of being impatient, I dictated to Siri a quick message to be sent to my sweet wife. It was supposed to be an apology, coupled with the hypothesis that perhaps the adversary is working on us overtime because he knows that learning from the feet of an apostle would thwart his evil designs. Instead, it came out like this:

Siri, in the process of analyzing the context of my verbal statement and moving it from speech to text, made the command decision that it was, in fact, the adversary- the evil one, Lucifer, Satan , etc.

Another possible explanation for Siri replacing the “adversary” title with her own name is that it was trying to fulfill latter-day prophecies contained in 2nd Nephi 28:21-22, which predicts thatwe would be taught from all sides of society that there is no devil or hell.

A third option could be that I slurred pronunciation of the word “adversary” in my verbal command to Siri, and it automatically defaulted to what it deemed to be the next best word- “Siri.”

In any case, those of us who carry Iphones around need to be extra careful. We now have cause to wonder- which side is Siri on?

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