My Mormon Third Eye: I See... Headlines from the Millennium

Sunday, July 14, 2013

I See... Headlines from the Millennium

One of the many talents of the Mormon Third Eye is an ability to momentarily see into the future. To be more exact, the ability to analyze what could or should be in the future. Does life get any more suppositional than this?

In your mind’s eye, imagine picking up a newspaper in the Millennium and reading the headlines. This is entirely possible, since what little we know about this thousand-year period indicates that life will continue as normal, except Christ will personally reign and Satan will be bound. There will be births, deaths, marriages, families, work and entertainment, but without the distraction and temptation of the Adversary. Circumstances will permit unprecedented success in missionary and temple work. I’m still a bit puzzled about how it could be possible for Christ to personally reign on a terrestrial earth similar to the Garden of Eden and it still take a thousand years for everyone to recognize his divine role as their Savior and Redeemer, but I have faith that during the Millennium, when “all things will be revealed,” the answer to this mystery will be included.

Anyway, I digress. I wouldn’t be surprised to read the following headlines sometime during the first few hundred years of the Millennium:

“ 72 100-yr old Passengers Twinkle in Train Collision- All Others Survive”

“100^th Temple Dedicated in Cuba”

“Thonbottom Ancestors Visit Mesa 4^th Temple, Provide Correct Birth and Marriage Dates”

“Lamb and Lion Caught Playing Hide and Seek with 2^nd Grade Class”

“City Plans to Convert Empty Prison into Rapper Rehabilitation Center”

“City of Great Falls Baptized, Felons Must Wait”

“Unused Nuclear Silos Renovated to Hold Food Storage for Regional UO Clans”

“Revelation on DNA Sequence Puts Cancer Centers Out of Business”

“Genealogy Czar Promotes Relations Between Savior, China”

“New Technology Turns Swords into Plowshares at 200 per Minute”

“Last Lost Tribe Found in Malawi”

“Seal Team 60 Finds, Binds Satan in Underground Test Site”

I’m hoping that all the news will be good; there is every indication that it will!

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.