My Mormon Third Eye: I See… A Recipe for True Love

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I See… A Recipe for True Love

What is the recipe for true love? This is probably the best deep question for the Mormon Third Eye to answer the Sunday after Valentine’s Day. I offer two possibilities:

First Option

Step One: take your wife out to dinner at the best place in town, then finish up the night together watching an offbeat romantic comedy on the HD projection TV in your basement.

Step Two: leave the very next morning on a week-long business trip halfway across world, where you have too much time on the long plane ride to think about how much you love and miss her. This results in a deep weepy pile of mushy love, the kind of love you’re only bound to encounter watching a Hallmark Special Movie.

Second Option

I’ve been married to my wife for almost 29 years now, and I can honestly admit that its been the best 25 years of my life. I did my daily Facebook check last Thursday evening, and was humbled by all of the creative means the menfolk in my social circles employed to express twu wuv for their spouses. Heart-shaped homemade cakes, cleverly compiled sappy poems using the names of popular candy bars, copious amounts of expensive roses delivered and arranged in the shape of a heart, etc. It was pure unadulterated mush. I asked myself, why don’t I pour out my heart like that anymore? In my younger married days, my creative romantic energies knew no bounds. For example, I was prone to giving my sweet one valentine cards the size of small couches and celebrating a whole week of Valentine’s Days; one day was not enough to prove my love for her.

Then I realized that after so many years of marriage I had nothing more to prove. As a young married priesthood holder trying to start an eternal family, I had to show evidence that I was worthy of her love and sacrifice. However, after 28+ years of presenting proof, she knew. I knew. We both knew. We briefly but deeply looked into each other’s eyes for a moment. We knew we had over 28 years of shared joys and sorrows, unfulfilled dreams and fulfilled promises, and countless Friday night dates grocery shopping and carting kids to activities as our proof. That’s all we needed for now.

When that magical day arrives in your marriage, the day when you know longer need to prove that your love is long and deep and strong enough to whether any challenge, watching an offbeat romantic comedy together in the basement may be sufficient. You still may offer flowers and chocolate, but rather than the highlight of the day, they may become more like the satisfying burp marking the end of a magnificent meal- acknowledgement of something very special.

And all because you know.

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.