I See… A Recipe for True Love
What is the recipe for true love? This is probably the best deep question for the Mormon Third Eye to answer the Sunday after Valentine’s Day. I offer two possibilities:
Step One: take your wife out to dinner at the best place in town, then finish up the night together watching an offbeat romantic comedy on the HD projection TV in your basement.
Step Two: leave the very next morning on a week-long business trip halfway across world, where you have too much time on the long plane ride to think about how much you love and miss her. This results in a deep weepy pile of mushy love, the kind of love you’re only bound to encounter watching a Hallmark Special Movie.
I’ve been married to my wife for almost 29 years now, and I can honestly admit that its been the best 25 years of my life. I did my daily Facebook check last Thursday evening, and was humbled by all of the creative means the menfolk in my social circles employed to express twu wuv for their spouses. Heart-shaped homemade cakes, cleverly compiled sappy poems using the names of popular candy bars, copious amounts of expensive roses delivered and arranged in the shape of a heart, etc. It was pure unadulterated mush. I asked myself, why don’t I pour out my heart like that anymore? In my younger married days, my creative romantic energies knew no bounds. For example, I was prone to giving my sweet one valentine cards the size of small couches and celebrating a whole week of Valentine’s Days; one day was not enough to prove my love for her.
Then I realized that after so many years of marriage I had nothing more to prove. As a young married priesthood holder trying to start an eternal family, I had to show evidence that I was worthy of her love and sacrifice. However, after 28+ years of presenting proof, she knew. I knew. We both knew. We briefly but deeply looked into each other’s eyes for a moment. We knew we had over 28 years of shared joys and sorrows, unfulfilled dreams and fulfilled promises, and countless Friday night dates grocery shopping and carting kids to activities as our proof. That’s all we needed for now.
When that magical day arrives in your marriage, the day when you know longer need to prove that your love is long and deep and strong enough to whether any challenge, watching an offbeat romantic comedy together in the basement may be sufficient. You still may offer flowers and chocolate, but rather than the highlight of the day, they may become more like the satisfying burp marking the end of a magnificent meal- acknowledgement of something very special.
And all because you know.