My Mormon Third Eye: I See... Applying Rule Number Three

Sunday, August 5, 2012

I See... Applying Rule Number Three

Regular viewers of the Mormon Third Eye know about the Four Rules of Successful Living: Always go where there is free food, never pay full price for anything, any problem you have can be solved with duck tape and bungee cords, and never press the red button. How often do you get to see one actually applied? Pay attention. I’m going to apply one now.

(WARNING: YOU”RE ABOUT TO READ A VERY SERIOUS AND FUNNY POST. IF YOU’RE INCAPABLE OF ENTERTAINING BOTH EMOTIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY, MOVE ALONG TO THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF DANCING KITTIES)

Duck Tape and Bungee Cords

Last week I had a serious problem without a solution. My brother-in-law, an amazing man and fulltime member of the church, passed away after an arduous two-year struggle with cancer. He had a great sense of humor and service, and I looked up to him as a man worthy of my most ardent emulation. He acquired neither fame nor fortune during his short sojourn on earth, but, in the words of Elder Packer, he didn’t need either of the them because he had made “the choice;” the choice to be happy through obedience to the ordinances and principles of the gospel.

His departure, however, had left a serious hole in my soul. How do I get it repaired?

I decided to apply rule number three: any problem you have can be solved with duck tape and bungee cords. At first thought one may wonder about the wonder of duck tape and bungee cords. Both items combine a unique qualities of strength, flexibility, and raw “sticktoitiveness” to join and reinforce at least two or more of just about anything, making what was previously unusable instantly functional. They are practical and powerful in purpose and application.

And so it was with my brother-in-law. He was a joiner. He would use his unique combination of spiritual strength, flexible humor, and practical commitment to getting the job done and bring people together in meaningful ways. He also was the type of guy who had enough faith in who he was to think he could fix anything… just like duck tape and bungee cords.

We honor the dead in the way we live. I suspect that all that those who have moved on to the next stage of eternity want from us is a little more commitment to be better people because we knew them. I’m glad I knew my brother-in-law, and so I’m going to honor him by trying a little harder to be like duck tape and bungee cords; solve more problems with strength, humor, and commitment.

Problem solved. Rule number three works.

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.