My Mormon Third Eye: I See... Why the Stake President Always Speaks Last

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I See... Why the Stake President Always Speaks Last

“BYU slaughtered Gonzaga last night!” “Who is that new family sitting in the back?” “I'm going to wait until Ellie fills her pants again before I take her out...” “Luke, I am your father!” “somebody left their Cheerios on our bench... I wonder if they are still good...” “I'm hungry!” “I'm tired!” “Do you think I'm pretty?”

As I scan the horizon of our ward conference sacrament meeting crowd at the opening moments, these are thoughts I imagine I am reading leaking out of the heads of ward members of all ages. This is why the Stake President always speaks last. When we come to church, we bring our thoughts and desires with us, and at the beginning they are not completely focused on the reason why we are there. The profound pearls of inspiration the Stake President has been prompted to share competes poorly with thoughts of Jimmertime, Star Wars theme music, and premature worries about innocent victims smelling the loaded diapers of our little loved ones. We are not ready.

After the sacrament has been passed and the bishop has finished his remarks, however, our minds have been trained and made fertile for holy advice. The Stake President may deliver a seemingly boring message on love, charity, or forgiveness, but it will thrill the prepared soul and prompt pondering like “my next door neighbor seems to be nice man...I wonder what I can do for them?” or “could the Savior really love me that much?” or “the twinkle in Ellie's eyes tells me that it hasn't been that long since she left heaven...”

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.