My Mormon Third Eye: I See... How to Deal With Bad Dreams

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I See... How to Deal With Bad Dreams

What makes a bad dream bad? By definition, it would be the opposite of good reality. The model Mormon member is taught and believes that good reality is when good wins and bad loses. Hence, for them, a bad dream is when bad wins and good loses. It doesn't make sense at all, which makes it a dream.

Hence, the only effective solution to combating the looming darkness that sticks with you after a particularly bad dream is to quickly and deeply imprint your mental senses with reality data where good wins and bad loses. Ironically, the fantasy world of classic television is the best place to find this type of reality data. Data like.. “The Rifleman! Starring Chuck Connors!”(anyone who has watched the show would that these are the first five words of the opening scene of each episode, accompanied by a few distinctive bars of music that can stick in your head much longer than any market-researched jingle)

In “”The Rifleman,” which ran on ABC from 1958 until 1963, humble rancher/deputy lawman Lucas McCain raises son Mark on his own in 1880's North Fork New Mexico. Lucas runs into all sorts of evils as a single father, rancher, and deputy sheriff, and in many (but not all) episodes, his quickness with a rifle solves all problems. In every episode, good ends up conquering evil, which is achieved in less than 25 minutes!

So... the next time your sonorous slumber is disturbed by a bad dream, access Hulu.com and call up a few episodes of “The Rifleman.” Flood your senses with righteous plots of humble, hard working farmers winning gunfights against thoroughly evil roving Mexican banditos, and angry injured Civil War veterans finding room in their hearts to forgive enemy soldiers that crippled them. Plant these seeds of good reality in the fertile ground of your psyche, and before you know it, you'll be back to sleep dreaming of the wrongs you'll be righting a few hours later when you wake up to start your day. A bad dream can't compete with frontier justice enforced by the barrel of a lightning-fast rifle!

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.