Sunday, April 18, 2010

I See... Real Mormon Fortune Cookies

The Mormon Fortune Cookie concept is not new. The Internet is pretty populated with carefully crafted FHE lesson resources and LDS date night ideas referencing creating fortune cookie activities infused inspirational sayings like “Only love can conquer hate” and “Repentance is spiritual freedom; free yourself today..”

The problem is that these fortunes and others like it aren't really “fortunes,” and so the cookies aren't really fortune cookies- they're more like “inspirational quote cookies,” or “positive mental attitude cookies.” A real fortune cookie fortune should be a mystical magical experience, where for some inexplicable reason, the words inside the cookie predict a critical event in your near future, hopefully something positive and noble. For example, “you will find your true love next week.-” that would be an awesome fortune cookie message.

In this context, the Mormon Third Eye sees a whole host of new and exciting Mormon Fortune Cookie messages- all we need is a church leader bold and prophetic enough to ensure that they are placed in the right place at the right time so the right people can access them:

“You will soon get a phone call from the Stake Executive Secretary- answer it.”

“Your future wife is now serving as a Releif Society President in a singles ward.”

“ Prepare now for the new temple soon to be announced in your area.”

“ The Bishop is looking for an older couple to serve in the nursery.”

“ The boy you are currently dating is really not preparing to serve a mission.”

“ Stay awake next Sunday morning- the talks that have been prepared are especially for you.”

“ The answer to your problem can be found in Alma 32.”

“ Hurry and get your temple recommend renewed- there is a lot of temptation coming your way and you will need all the strength you can get.”

“ Learn Mongolian.”

“ Stop yelling at your teenage daughter, or she may really start dating that boy with four chin rings and dirty word tattoos on his neck.”

“ They're going to split the ward soon- move five blocks east if you want to stay.”

What are you looking forward to in your Mormon future?

7 comments:

  1. What a great post!!!! I love it, Hubby.

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  2. only a few more years till all the kids are in school
    those dishes can wait
    pizza hut + monday, does a family night make
    you can sleep when you are dead
    that 2 yr old boy may be a prophet one day, you cannot kill him now
    praying for patience is just like asking for a calling in the nursery
    bed time is only 12 hours away

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  3. These Mormon fortune cookies are really the great. Thanks for sharing.

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