My Mormon Third Eye: I See... How to Shake the Very Powers of Hell

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I See... How to Shake the Very Powers of Hell

“Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.” Alma 48:17.

How many of us have thought, at least several times a day, “what would it be like if I could just shake the very powers of hell? ” I know I have.

In the rich tradition of the Mormon Third Eye supplying fellow Latter-day Saints with practical “how-to” advice (past instruction includes how to name a rock band, how to end any argument with your wife, how to buy a new car for only $200, how to make the ward grow, how to teach your teens about money, how to efficiently sin AND repent, and how to do successfully something you have never done before), I offer simple instruction on how to shake the very powers of hell If you have ever tiptoed through a typical television day with the remote and found that even the commercials are too pornographic or suggestive to watch in mixed company, or been overburdened by the specter of federal government officials with patently Marxist backgrounds implementing regulations that threaten to undermine an inspired Constitution, then this advice will come in handy.

Logic dictates that “if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever,” then all we have to do is find men (and women) like Captain Moroni to lead our nation and the entertainment industry. It's that simple!

So... how to find men (and women) like Captain Moroni... hmm... I wonder what type of man he was... hmm...

Wait a minute.... Alma 48: 11-13 describes Captain Moroni's character. Apparently he was strong and mighty; had perfect understanding; did not delight in bloodshed; had a soul that did joy in the liberty and freedom of his country, and also liberating his fellow citizens from bondage and slavery. Furthermore, he had a heart that swelled with thanksgiving to God, and he labored exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people. Ultimately, however, he was firm in the faith of Christ, and honored with his life the oath he had made to defend his people, his rights, his country, and his religion.

Hmm... anybody know someone in politics or the entertainment industry who is strong, understands the world well, hates war, loves freedom, is thankful, works hard, has faith in Christ, and keeps promises to defend to the death our rights, our country, and our God? I would vote for them and watch their tv shows and movies.

Hmm... this may be a little bit harder than I thought!

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.