Sunday, August 23, 2009

I See... When Missionary Moms Explode!

(T.E.N.) Missionary mom Raylene Amber Young spontaneously combusted yesterday at Salt Lake City Airport as she welcomed home her oldest son Ammon from his service as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Siberian Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Okrug North Mission. Witnesses, which included her husband Ammon Sr., their 14 sons Aaron, Abinadom, Aha, Alma, Amaleki, Ammaron, Aminidab, Ammah, Amnor, Amulek, Antionum, Antipus, Amos, Aminadi, and Pahoran, and 239 other related family members, say that they started to see Sis. Young ignite as her son exited the terminal wearing a missionary suit made out of thick yak hair and carrying two pairs of snowshoes. Airport security cameras recorded the explosion occurring right after several rapid, window-shattering shrieks of “MY BABY BOY,” appearing to come from Ms. Young's direction. Luckily, no innocent bystanders were injured by flying body debris, and immediate family members were able to retrieve all critical body organs that been ejected as far away as baggage claim C. A spokesman for surgeons at Primary Children's Hospital announced that through a miracle 14-hour operation, Ms. Young is expected to make a full, complete recovery.

Transportation Security Agency security officers investigating the incident are puzzled, and have failed to isolate the exact cause of the bodily explosion. However, Dr. Gwendolyn Knowalot Phd, an expert in a new burgeoning sub-field of psychological disorders called maternal missionary mania, has speculated that the real cause of Ms. Young's unfortunate detonation was... Joy!

1 comment:

  1. Is this the first edition of TEN? Very funny. I love all of the "A" names. I can handle you mocking the crazy Utah names.