Sunday, February 22, 2009

I See... A Dumb, Boring Blog Entry

Why am I violating almost every rule of literary composition that guides the purview of the Mormon Third Eye by posting an intentionally dumb, boring blog entry? I'm doing it in the name of science. The Mormon Third Eye prides itself on presenting fascinating facts rooted in truth and empirical evidence, so I'm throwing out a purposefully terribly written, extremely tedious post in hopes of proving, or disproving, a disturbing theorem that has been associated with this blog.

The suspect theorem goes something like this- readers claim anecdotally that they refrain from responding with comments to regular Mormon Third Eye Sabbath day blog posts because they are intimidated by the clever, savvy writing style and the witty presentation of intriguing subjects. (The other remote possibility is that they are not commenting because they are not actually reading it.) Anyway, logic would then dictate that an extremely boring, poorly written post that does not intimidate readers would result in a plethora of clever comments provided by respondents not shackled by the Mormon Third Eye's uniquely penetrating, off-the-wall approach to today's problems. The bottom line is that I'm willing to sacrifice my reputation for one Sunday in the search for truth.

Here is where the experiment starts. Quoted below is a random verse (Nehemiah 6:1-2)extracted from the most underrated, misunderstood book of scripture, the Old Testament. It is presented out of context, with no commentary of its meaning or purpose. I challenge readers to find a more irrelevant, meaningless piece of information on the Internet today, at this moment in time, than the following:

“1 ¶ NOW it came to pass, when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall, and [that] there was no breach left therein; (though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates;)

2 That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in [some one of] the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief..”

I have shared with you nothing about who Sanballet, Tobiah, and Geshem are, why they are concerned about a wall, and where the plain of Ono is. You should be completely and utterly disinterested in this. Hence, it should provoke a flurry of reader comments!

6 comments:

  1. Am I really the first in the "flurry of reader comments" that is unequivocally going to happen today?

    Let me just say, that I have already spent an hour crafting a clever comment for this post and then my son came and closed the window because he wanted to play "pbs kids." (Just kidding, he really did close the window on me, but my comment was in no way clever)

    I want you to know that I read and ENJOY the Mormon Third Eye, however, I read all my chosen blogs via Google Reader - this allows me to quickly read new posts and then move on to the screaming child tugging at my leg. Because of this method, I have severely fallen down in my commenting on all blogs - I am publicly committing to do better :-) Keep up the interesting and funny posts Mormon Third Eye!

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  2. Thank you Christine, for feeding my blatant appetite for attention-- I know I can't compete with screaming child on the leg. Also, thank you for helping me to prove my theorem.

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  3. Here is my best shot.

    "Scrambled eggs take so much longer when you forget to turn the burner on."

    Not much but true.

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  4. See the last definition for the word MIKE http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/Meaningless+Irrelevant+Known+Error

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  5. This post was about me wasn't it? I was hoping that I (through the Spirit of course) had actually inspired Mormon Third Eye in some minute Christ-like way. Alas, I will repent and comment on random words of nothingness and hope for many comments on this blog entry:)
    If you still have an eyeball to give away, I'll take it...

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  6. ummmmm... Christine and I have exactly the same problem. Blame the child or Google Reader.

    Love the blog!

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