It all started with petty thievery on my front lawn a few weeks ago… but now it’s a massive conspiracy to undermine the United States of America as we know it.
The Internet is the perfect venue for unearthing and exposing conspiracies, and I think I’ve found another one. This one is much more serious than the last one I researched, “the Nick-Tim Conspiracy” posted on 22 February of this year.
A few weeks ago, some enterprising young punk politician in the dark of night stole a McCain-Palin for President sign from off of our front yard lawn. Initially, I lightly attributed it to a random act of vandalism. A few days later, however, as the rage of having my lawn violated seethed violently inside me, I began to think deeper, and wondered if this was just the tip of an anti-McCain conspiracy iceberg.
What if this blatant violation of the eighth commandment, “thou shalt not steal,” is part of a larger local movement to steal voter support for McCain?
What if this larger local movement is merely representative of the well-publicized A.C.O.R.N. efforts to falsify voter registration records and “steal” the election for Barrack Obama?
What if President Obama then redistributes wealth and takes money from us without our permission (AKA stealing) via higher taxes?
What if President Obama then “steals” our economy and our country from us by imposing socialist and civil liberty-suppressing government laws on us, all in the name of bailout plans and/or quelling popular unrest resulting from the widening rich-poor gap?
On the other hand, if the loss of my sign was truly just a random act of vandalism, or if McCain actually wins, well… then never mind. I was wrong.
I hope I’m wrong.
If I were a betting man I would bet on your conspiracy as well!
ReplyDeletetoo bad you're a good mormon boy... otherwise you could make a lot of money!!
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