My Mormon Third Eye: I See… Making Lemonade out of Lemons

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I See… Making Lemonade out of Lemons

WARNING: THIS IS AN EXTREMELY DIRTY POST. I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT CRAP. WELL, I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT CRAP, BUT MY WIFE HATES THE WORD CRAP; SHE BELIEVES THAT “CRAP” IS A GUTTER WORD THAT SHOULDN’T BE USED IN HIGH-CLASS BLOGS LIKE THIS ONE. SO, I’LL USE ANOTHER WORD OTHER THAN CRAP. BLESS HER.

Enduring the challenges and trials of life, and letting them transform us into something better, is at the core of our human existence and an essential principle of God's plan for us. Elder James E. Faust taught that “In life we all have our times of testing and growth. These trials are necessary. They are growth experiences. Though they are times of deep anguish and suffering, they are also times to draw near to God. The suffering of the Savior in Gethsemane was without question the greatest that has ever come to mankind, yet out of it came the greatest good in the promise of eternal life.”

I know I’m supposed to make lemonade out of the lemons that grow in my path of life, but, of course, my Mormon Third Eye wants to view this dilemma from a different angle. What if I want to make something else out of my lemons, something more appetizing… say… lemon meringue pie? I could weather severe financial problems (lemons), and in the process learned how to be happy with a frugal, yet satisfying life (lemonade). However, like the popular financial management speaker Dave Ramsey, couldn’t I also weather severe financial problems (lemons), then make a buzillion dollars on the motivational speaker circuit inspiring others to do the same ? (lemon meringue). Or could I just take the easy road and weather severe financial problems (lemons) by reducing my debt load to a barely manageable level, which would be like chilling a lemon in the fridge for a few hours, then cramming a straw in it to create a tart, yet refreshing snack?

But what if life hands you something significantly worse than lemons… say… poop? You know, “brownies,” “caca,” “doo-doo,” “stinky loo-loos,” “number 2,” “packages,” etc. ” What are we expected to make out of that?

If you truly believe in the Lord’s promise to Moses repeated in Moses 6:63, “that all things have their ^alikeness, and all things are created and made to ^bbear record of me,” then even a substance as offensive as human waste can be turned into something beautiful. And so it is with the circle of life. Ironically enough, both credible scientific research and common sense has proven that substances rejected by the body as being harmful and poisonous, when processed properly, make some of the world’s cheapest, yet most productive fertilizer! And from fertilizer grows bounteous amounts of beautiful flowers and tasty treats!

The moral of the story is when life hands us lemons, make lemonade. However, if it hands us something significantly worse, like crap, er, I mean “number 2,” we have a lot a beautiful flowers to look forward to!

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.