My Mormon Third Eye: I See… Flash Reunions

Sunday, January 11, 2015

I See… Flash Reunions

There are very few things more electrifying than a well-organized and executed flash mob. The arranged spontaneity of 50 or so apparently innocent bystanders breaking out in choreographed dance and song lifts my heart and soul to new heights of happiness. Although I have never personally been caught in the cagey clutches of flash mob on location, I still remember the magic of my first viewed flash mob on youtube. While regular-looking people milled aimlessly about in an ornately cavernous train station somewhere in Europe, scurrying for the 5:00 pm Express, a stealth disco beat started lilting out of the station PA system. Then, before you had a chance to cognitively process what should be happening next, the human dominoes started to fall and synchronized arms and legs were swinging to pulsating music filling the hall. Everyone was mesmerized by the effect, including two buzillion youtube viewers. I was one of them.

The Mormon Third Eye sees one puny flaw in the typical flash mob scenario- it’s not truly spontaneous- it is merely arranged to appear that way. What if… what if… you could be a part of a real “flash” experience? One where participants just naturally flowed together, with little or no preplanning or practice? Is it even possible?

The Mormon Third Eye says “yes!” and has the evidence to prove it. For the past 4-5 years or so, my extended family has been inexorably transitioning through mid-life joys and sorrows; parents are passing on, sons and daughters are getting married and leaving and returning on missions, etc… This stage of extended family life requires all of us to be in one place at the same time. Various brothers and sisters have decided quite spontaneously and efficiently to piggy back family reunions before or after seminal family events. After a few ad-hoc reunions associated with funerals and weddings, it appears that we have got the lack of planning down to a science. The only advance coordination is knowing when each family arrives in town and ensuring that we stay at the same hotel- the rest we leave up to chance and last-minute collaboration.

Inevitably there are long, late-night lively games and discussions and perhaps a meal or two together, with the dinner location decided no more than 15 minutes in advance. One minute we are hanging around temple doors with reverent anticipation, waiting for a fresh new bride and groom to appear- the next minute we are all sequestered in a single hotel room suite, running separate, competing discussions on quilting, missionary sons, BYU football, and de-cluttering homes, all while nieces and nephews are simultaneously talking smack over a game of “Suspend.” The only requirement is that we spend time together.

Why? Because this is how we roll- Tait family “flash reunions.” They are much more inspirational and satisfying than the most tightly choreographed flash mob. I highly recommend it.

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.