My Mormon Third Eye: I See… Gospel Artificial Intelligence (GAI)

Sunday, February 2, 2014

I See… Gospel Artificial Intelligence (GAI)

I have witnessed waves of technological, socio-cultural, and religious advances during my short lifetime, from man landing on the moon to the big church’s creatively compassionate yet principled stand on same-sex issues, but I was definitely not prepared for the advent of Gospel Artificial Intelligence (GAI) that has apparently been installed on my Kindle Fire. Let me explain.

Last week I was logging my home teaching plans via a handy program on my Kindle Fire called “Out of Milk.” It allows the users to make todo lists of actions that need to be accomplished. When I typed in the acronym “HT” for home teaching on one of the lists, I was pleasantly shocked to see the program auto-correct “HT” to “ :) ”!

Just for the record, I did not “train” the Kindle or the Out of Milk program to auto-correct “HT” to “ :) ”.

So the next deep question is, how did it know? How did it know that home teaching makes both the bearerand recipient of the visit and message so happy? The only logical explanation for this mystery is that Amazon, a pioneer in applying technology-based solutions to customer needs (have you read about Amazon’s recent work in “anticipatory shipping,” where, based on your online shopping profile, they ship products to local distribution centers that they expect you to order in the future?), has created a Gospel Artificial Intelligence (GAI) application that detects church lingo on your Kindle device and renders the proper emoticon that should be associated with a specific gospel principle represented by that lingo.

So t

I could go on, but looking at my Kindle “todo” list, I need to study the :) message for
February!

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The Mormon Third Eye Quote of the Week

"As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Priesthood Session Conference, October 2012

Why My Mormon Third Eye?

When I politely excused myself in the middle of dinner to make a bathroom stop, how did Mom know that I had uneaten peas in my pocket to flush down the toilet? When I came home late from a youth dance and slid quietly into bed to avoid waking parental units, how did Dad know, without looking at the car, that I smashed in the front bumper? When I watch my daughter play a video game, how do I know that she's not ready for her Geometry final?

Its the Third Eye. The notorious eye in the back of the head, the extra view of life that God blesses parents striving to do the right thing so they can see more of life than the children they chase after.

Our third eye also permits us to see things and feel emotions that are too refined, too far on the edge of our standard two-eyed peripheral vision to enjoy in its fullness. I've learned that I have a Mormon Third Eye; that is, as a life-long, fully-dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have unique perspective on how the doctrines of the gospel and the demands of my faith in them intersect every other part of my mortal existence to create the entertaining, self-deprecating kaleidoscope of my life.

So... for those of you bold and bored enough to read this far, every so often I'll be sharing here what my Mormon third eye sees. Third eyes are relatively huge; they see the humorous, the entertaining, the embarrassing, the beautiful, the inspirational, and even the moral and political; however, they tend to ignore the evil, depressing and destructive: there is enough of that in world already!

The Four Secrets to Successful Living

Always Go Where There is Free Food - This includes ward and work parties, wedding receptions and missionary open houses; the money you spend to buy the ingredients for the world-famous triple chocolate cake you bring doesn’t count.
Never Pay Full Price for Anything – See my posts on Black Friday escapades for more information on this.
Never, Ever Press the Red Button - Usually, if you are faced with a red button somewhere, don’t press it – it usually means trouble. For example, the red button launches the missiles. Do yourself a favor and don’t press it.
Any Problem You Face Can Be Solved With Bungee Cords and Duct Tape - Bungee cord and duct tape technology has saved many marriages and ward parties. I’m not just talking about problems with plumbing or keeping groceries from bouncing around the trunk; I know of relationship and family issues that have been solved with creative applications of these two substances.