We just wrapped up a historic general conference weekend. What made these sessions so memorable in the annals of general conference history? Was it the stunning announcement of lowering the age for young men and young women to serve missions? Or maybe Elder Oak’s direct and passionate plea for protection of the world’s children? Possibly. For the Mormon Third Eye, however, the 182nd Semiannual Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will forever go down in history as the first general conference where… I stayed awake for ALL five sessions, including the Priesthood Session!
Struggling to stay awake in conference is not as sinful or satisfying as it may first seem. If you humbly, quietly begin watching a session of conference harboring a secret hope to acquire some unique heavenly motivation to be a better a person, the Lord may reward you with soft, comforting spiritual promptings that envelope your yearning soul much like a thick blanket on a cold night. Unfortunately, if you've had a long challenging day or night dealing with work and/or family issues, then that warm, lilting spirit surrounding you can easily lead you to the rest and comfort of slumber. During even my most memorable sessions, there is usually at least part of one talk I have unintentionally dozed through. What can be said and shared in conference, however, is definitely worth staying awake for. So, what was the secret to sanctifying my sincere soul from slumber?
I know that faithful fans regularly read the MTE for answers, not questions. Sometimes, however, there are gospel mysteries that reach beyond even the keen analytical grasp of the MTE- Where are the Three Nephites? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does nothing happen to me? This must be one of them. The crack MTE staff has analyzed conference contents, the comfort of the viewing environment (or the lack thereof), and even the spiritual, emotional, and physical circumstances during and immediately prior to conference. We have not uncovered, exposed, identified, or triangulated even one shred of evidence pointing to a rational reason for this heretofore unknown anomaly. For now, this will have to be stored in the category of unsolved gospel gems.
Wait a minute. I never considered the possibility that after participating in at least 60 conference weekends as a legal adult, maybe I’m growing up? Hmmm…. I’ll have to get the MTE research staff to explore this further…