Every once in awhile my charming wife crosses the line in breaking the traditional, time-honored norms of standard husband-wife relationships. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you’ll remember that a few months ago she nearly altered the very fabric of the known social universe by asking for a kitchen appliance for a Mother’s day gift.
Well, she’s at it again. Sisters, be afraid. Be very afraid. Once again, she has done the unthinkable. She has re-ordered my reality by… taking out the trash for me.
Unless you recently arrived from an alien culture with alternate DNA, it is well known that earthling male DNA dictates that on Thursday night (or any other night appointed by your local garbalogy), men are supposed to take out the trash. It defines us. It is who we are. It is a part of our essential identity. It is marital doctrine.
Just to be on the safe side, decades ago my oldest sister Velein, a consummate wife and mom, clearly instructed my betrothed Deon that she never take out the trash. This instruction wrought a singularly powerful affect on her an as impressionable young wife, because since then, I have always taken out the trash when I’m in town.
This is how it happened. Last Thursday, as I was coming home from a late night of stake meetings, Deon called to check on me and lovingly proclaimed “I know it’s late, and you’ve had a long day, so I’ve taken care of the trash for you. Hurry home!”
This is code word for “I went around the house, emptied all the trash cans, and deposited the results in bags next to the front door for you to take out to the curb.” It is about as close as she can come to NOT violating the covenant she made with my older sister when we were engaged and actually taking out the trash.
When I arrived at our driveway 15 minutes later, I was stunned to witness an actual trash can placed out in front of the house, fully stocked with last week’s refuse. My first impulse was to conclude that I had parked in the wrong driveway. After a few moments of utter confusion, it dawned on me- Deon had actually taken out the trash for me!
I didn’t know what to think. On the surface, it appeared that she had just committed a serious infraction of marital boundaries and took out the trash for me.
Then I thought “out of the box” for a moment. Could it be… that she took out the garbage because she cares about me, because she loves me?
Maybe love and garbage do go together… and maybe love knows no boundaries!
Oh Deon, do you realize what you have done? If you are wondering if it's too late - yes - yes it is.
ReplyDeleteI too broke the rule.
{slow shaking of the head}
Oh, the sacrifices we make for love...
Bishop Tait, I will admit I have been a lousy blog reader of late and it has been some months since I have checked in on you. In reviewing this blog and the one referenced herein, I would like to request any copies of these marital books to which you refer. Scott is making so many mistakes according to your rules that I don't know what I should do. Maybe counseling is in order.
ReplyDeleteKeri,
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you! You'll have to ask my wife for the books you are looking for. I learn about all these rules from her!