I See... The Passionate Service Leader

Why am I, 100% male manly man, one who delights in roasting carrion over an open flame in the backyard grill, one who bears the aromatic stench generated by athletic activities or yard work on a hot Saturday afternoon as an expensive cologne, dare to discuss a subject so dainty and delicate as Relief Society? What qualifies me to comment on serving there?

Because.... I’m married to a woman who has spent much of her adult life married to Relief Society leadership callings, and ...

I too have served in the Relief Society.

Now that you have wiped that puzzled look off your face and given in to the primeval urge to laugh in disbelief (don’t worry about hurting my feelings; I’m naturally funny so this happens to me all the time) it’s time to introduce the only calling in Relief Society that men are allowed to hold: the Passionate Service Leader.

Most sisters have heard about their ward’s Compassionate Service Leader, because they have either served as one, been served by one, or asked by one to serve other sisters via casseroles, babysitting emergencies, or rides to the emergency room. I’m surprised, however, about how many are unaware of the service provided by men as Passionate Service Leaders, because almost every married young woman in the church got that away through the diligent service of one.

One reason they don’t enjoy the notoriety and credit they deserve is because it is an unofficial calling not listed in the handbook and rarely officially discussed in bishopric meetings. This is shameful at a minimum, because they do so much to help bring to pass the plan of salvation. It is their calling in life to provide the passion that single Relief Society sisters need to inspire them to overlook all the filthy, disorderly habits (burping, leaving dirty socks strewn throughout the house, etc.) that a man can infuse into their lives, and fulfill their divine mandates as a wife and mother.

I began calling myself as a Passionate Service Leader soon after I finished my mission and began prowling the dating jungle at BYU too many decades ago. In particular, I was looking to help Relief Society Presidents in singles wards fulfill their divine potential as wives and mothers in Zion by passionately dating them, then leading them to the altar. I had to make a minor exception to this strategy when I ran into the disarming beauty and wit of my current and only wife, who was NOT a Relief Society President when I first started courting her, but became one soon thereafter.

Worthy young men serving as Passionate Service Leaders in singles wards automatically release themselves from their Relief Society callings when they enter the bonds of matrimony. They then begin their eternal calling as a co-Passionate Service Leader with their wives in the marriage covenant. The hope is that neither of them ever find good reason to release themselves or each other from these most sacred and important callings.