My Mormon Third Eye

I See... Putting on Your Big Girl Panties

2012-01-29T00:07:00.001-05:00

This Sunday's post is about facing fears. It's about conquering fears. Its about... panties. I know that talking about panties can be a sensitive topic. I also know, however, that if you are a regular Mormon Third Eye reader, you're accustomed to running into sensitive topics being handled in innovative and creative ways. Rest assured that only at the Mormon Third Eye will you read about a

I See... The First Ever Mormon Third Eye Football Quiz!

2012-01-22T12:48:00.004-05:00

The Mormon Third Eye is constantly striving to explore new territory in bringing new perspectives to the LDS experience. It has also decided to bow to peer pressure from those who worship on the altar of sports every January and February and discuss the religious aspects of football during the Super Bowl season. WARNING: THIS QUIZ REQUIRES YOU TO MAKE SNAP JUDGEMENTS BASED ON OVERWORKED

I See... Tim Tebow's Mansion in Heaven

2012-01-15T16:08:00.004-05:00

We're all building future mansions in heaven with our present works on earth. The Mormon Third Eye believes that Tim Tebow is building a classy port-a-potty for himself on a construction site for somebody else's mansion in heaven. And... it has nothing to do with his poor performance leading the Denver Broncos to a world-class loss against the New England Patriots last night. My assessment and

I See... Support for Inanimate Transgender Rights

2012-01-08T18:41:00.002-05:00

WARNING: THIS IS THE POST MY WIFE WARNED ME NOT WRITE. SOME MAY THINK IT TOO PROVOCATIVE; OTHERS THAT IT IS JUST TOO STUPID AND SILLY. YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW THAT I'M PUSHING THE ENVELOPE OF PROVOCATION, STUPIDITY, AND SILLINESS. The Mormon Third Eye has always spoken out broadly at the front of key social issues of the day. Whether its feeding teenagers spicy hot tacos before the big dance to

I See... Being Number Four

2011-12-31T22:54:00.003-05:00

I am Number Four. Really! I am! If you had the chance to see last year's sci-fi blockbuster megahit “I am Number Four,” you'll understand the boldness of this declaration. I was not the fourth genetically-engineered embryo designed in a spooky DNA lab, nor the fourth alien guardian sent to earth to protect it against evil, and I am not blessed with any degree of superhuman strength that I

I See... A Charlie Brown Christmas

2011-12-25T11:04:00.004-05:00

If you are a resident of earth, you are familiar with the wildly popular, award-winning Charlie Brown Christmas Television Special produced in the 60's. I grew up with it. In Charlie Brown's world, nothing goes right. He buys a crummy little tree; his Christmas is overwhelmed with commercialism; he can't get anyone to cooperate to produce the annual Christmas play; and nobody sends him

I See... the Second Thing You Do When You Wake Up In the Morning

2011-12-18T13:45:00.002-05:00

Way back in April of this year, the Mormon Third Eye offered timely, targeted advice on what your first thought should be when you wake up in the morning. You can read it here. Basically, I point out that that first thought should be “ how can I serve my wife today?” “How can I serve my husband today?” However, in the grand Mormon Third Eye tradition of providing practical, operational advice

I See... Oh Ye of Little Faith

2011-12-11T19:09:00.004-05:00

It's that time of the year. The pleasing strains of “Oh Come all Ye Faithful” comfort us with expectations of a Christ-centered Christmas. We review the miraculous events surrounding the birth of the Savior and contemplate in awe the condescension of God; that He would send His Son to come down among us, to dwell among men, to take upon himself our infirmities, that he may know how to succor us

I See... Why I Cried at the End of the Muppet Movie

2011-12-04T21:27:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving morning a few weeks ago I went to see the new Muppet Movie with most of my family. I cried at the end of it. There. I got it out. Now I can go on with the rest of my life and this blogpost. You're probably wondering why a proper personality as cosmopolitan and experienced (notice I didn't say “manly”) as the Mormon Third Eye would break down into tears watching a glamorous puppet

I See... Super Sacred Sunday

2011-11-26T18:49:00.001-05:00

For years now we've had “Black Friday;” the most massive shopping day of the year, where consumers and retailers alike go crazy over great deals. But imitation is the greatest indicator of success, so no one should have been surprised with the rise of “Cyber Monday” on its coattails, the Internet's answer to Black Friday. Most recently, between that Friday and this Monday, “Small Business

I See... How to Hear “I Love You!”

2011-11-20T00:58:00.002-05:00

It's easy to say “I love you.” For example- I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. There- I just said it several times in under a few seconds. It's much harder, however, to HEAR “I love you.” After all, based on my favorite quote fm Elder Oaks, “What you hear is more important than what I say,” developing the ability to hear “I love you” is paramount I have to

I See... A Veteran's Day Dedication: Oration at Valley Forge

2011-11-13T17:15:00.002-05:00

(WARNING: THIS POST IS INCREDIBLY LONG! IT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK READER! ONLY THE TRULY PATRIOTIC WILL REACH THE END, BUT WHEN THEY DO, THEIR PATRIOTISM WILL BE SATISFYING FED BY THE FOOD OF FINE DISCOURSE) The Mormon Third Eye has always pushed the envelope of what should be posted in traditionally short-attention span blogs. Today it opens the envelope. To celebrate Veteran's Day, I have

I See... What Real Men at BYU Really Do

2011-11-05T18:14:00.003-04:00

What defines a real BYU man, aside from a returned missionary who marries for eternity the girl he home taught for three months and acquires the degree he needs to earn a living for his family? Initially I thought BYU football players filled the requirements; masses of holy consecrated bodies sparked by manly hormones to crush players on the opposing team into oblivion. Then, in light of the

I See... Why There Should Never Be a Perfect Primary Sacrament Meeting Program

2011-10-30T13:27:00.001-04:00

Thousands of overacheiving ward and branch Primary Presidents, joined by their Primary Chorister minions, will be striving this fall, as they have every fall for decades, to pull together the perfect primary sacrament meeting program. Maybe this year, children of all ages will recite every line with perfect diction and clarity, without screams, shouts, moans, burps and other sounds emanating

I See... Eternal Missionary Life

2011-10-23T02:05:00.002-04:00

If you've been paying attention in Primary, Sunday School, and Priesthood/Relief Society lessons, no doubt you are aware of God's Great Plan of Happiness for us. The plan includes the three estates of our eternal existence: pre-earth life, where as spirit children of a loving Heavenly Father we learned of the plan of salvation; our second estate, our life here on earth, life right now, where we

I See... How to Choose a Good Movie

2011-10-16T15:03:00.007-04:00

Choosing appropriate entertainment has always been challenging for LDS families. But what if there was a scientific foolproof method for determining if a movie was worth watching? You can thank the Mormon Third Eye for the extensive, painstaking research that went into simplifying the decision-making matrix for choosing a quality flick. The bottom line is that by automatically eliminating all

I See... the Gospel According to Chicken Run

2011-10-09T00:52:00.003-04:00

Gospel principles can pop up in the strangest places if you are looking for them. One of the strangest places of all is the award-winning G-rated movie, “Chicken Run.” “Chicken Run” is the clever claymation tale of chickens trapped in a WWII POW-style chicken coop. Their leader, the female “Ginger,” has dedicated her life to one noble goal: escape for herself and her fellow fowls. What

I See... the Family that Sits Behind you in Church

2011-10-02T09:07:00.003-04:00

You know that family that sits behind you in church? Of course you do. That young family, with Josh and Sophie, started sitting behind you in church a couple of years ago, and since then you've become accustomed to their smiling faces and clear voices. They talk a lot during sacrament meeting, but what they say to each other is always articulate and the unvarnished truth, which makes it all

I See... Seeking the Protection of the Temple

2011-09-25T16:18:00.003-04:00

It was going to be the most perfect day. Nothing would go wrong. A beautiful, worthy young relief society sister and a handsome young priesthood holder glowed in the reflective light of the sealing room chandeliers. They had been married for time and all eternity. They were then whisked outside to meet the rest of wedding party waiting excitedly at the foot of the impressive, sturdy granite

I See... Something More Important than BYU Football

2011-09-18T17:50:00.004-04:00

Is there anything more important than BYU football? Regular readers of the Mormon Third Eye should instinctively know the correct answer to this seemingly rhetorical question. However, our son just married a beautiful young woman in the house of the Lord last Saturday. Both the reception in Utah last week and the open house in Maryland this Saturday posed serious scheduling conflicts with BYU

I See... Defining Eternity

2011-09-11T15:27:00.001-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye is lately looking into really deep things. Eternal Things. It is just one of the many blessings of marrying off a son in the temple. On the surface, it is not hard to ponder on eternal things, such as eternal marriage, eternal life, and eternal Ward Council meetings, and limit your view of the concept of eternity to the duration of time. If you really believe that eternity

I See... Where in Utah is the Mormon Third Eye? The First Billion-Dollar Giveaway!

2011-09-04T15:56:00.004-04:00

(WARNING: PLEASE SIT DOWN BEFORE YOU READ ON; ITS PRETTY AMAZING) The Mormon Third Eye will be making a few secret cameo appearances in Utah this coming weekend. For security reasons, exact locations won't be revealled here- I'll be intentionally trying to fly under the radar all over Utah during my visit, avoiding the unruly mobs of fame-seekers that usually accompany my scripted public

I See... Out of the Best Books

2011-08-28T14:02:00.003-04:00

Q: What is the most important, popular book in circulation on earth today? (notice that this query out of necessity excludes books known to extraterrestrial beings, such as the Book of Life, which includes every good and bad detail of every person's life, available only at the judgment bar of God) Which book imparts more information and hence has the most influence on the greatest number of

I See... the Warmth of an Exploding Microwave Popcorn Memory

2011-08-21T14:10:00.003-04:00

It is no secret that God meant memories to warm our souls. The mystery lies in what kind of memories warm our souls when and why. For example, exploding microwave popcorn years ago produces a pleasant lesson on gratitude, love, and forgiveness today. 16 years ago we went out to do something one evening and left our young children in the able hands of our best YW teenage babysitter. I can't

I See... Families are for Losers

2011-08-14T14:32:00.002-04:00

A few months ago, the Mormon Third Eye posted a shocking expose on matrimony and conclusively proved that marriage was for losers. Since then, MTE has done even more painstaking observation and research, and now can decisively state that not only marriage, but... families are for losers too! Amazing! Here is how it works. After 23+ years of laughs and sighs and sorrows, we are losing our son.

I See... Using the Other Mormon.org to Deal With a Bad Day

2011-08-07T13:25:00.000-04:00

Hi! I'm Richard T. I'm a blogger, father of two, husband of one, and a Mormon.org junkie. And I'm a Mormon.The church has advertised Mormon.org as the new destination for members to post personal testimonies on the Savior's love and how it is expressed via the plan of salvation, His atonement on our behalf, and the restoration of the gospel. It is being touted as a vital resource for people

I See... Forgotten Gratitude

2011-07-31T08:07:00.001-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye sees very few disappointments as dismal as incidents of forgotten gratitude (no desserts containing chocolate at a ward party comes in a distant second). Imagine my joy, then, when I randomly ran into two coincidental episodes of unusual, uncommon gratitude. Episode I I recently attended an international academic conference, The star speaker on one panel was Bilahari

I See... the Ultimate LDS 4G Network

2011-07-23T23:24:00.004-04:00

WARNING: HOLD ON TO YOUR ATTENTION SPAN AND YOUR TEAR DUCTS. THIS IS POSSIBLY THE LONGEST, YET MOST MOVING POST EVER. EVER. The whole world is excited about the onslaught of emergent 4G networks. In the context of the gospel, more searching souls will be able to more quickly access the inspirational profiles at mormon.org via their smart phones. Certainly it will increase our capacity to

I See... The Most Exciting Word in the English Language

2011-07-17T13:31:00.004-04:00

Excitement is in the mind of the thinker. Nowhere is this more true than the Mormon Third Eye. Of the thousands of words that could be spoken, there may be a few words that motivate and inspire, but there is only one word that excites. One word that sparks dopamine surging through my neural net. I wish it was a lofty, noble or divine term, like faith, charity, or hope. However, the Mormon

I See... The Stupidity Antidote

2011-07-11T01:29:00.002-04:00

Everyone is bound to act stupidly at least a couple of times in their life. The Mormon Third Eye knows this to be true. Stupidity Stupidity, according to a blend of several different Internet dictionaries, refers to acts committed foolishly, senselessly, or without reasonable forethought to consequences. It could be an action as trivial as botching a simple diaper change; a more serious

I See... The Pain of Freedom

2011-07-03T23:22:00.002-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye is a staunch Patriot. For proof, readers can review my previous Independence Day postings on Freedom Fighters, what happens when free people do nothing, and the Angel of Freedom. It was only natural, then, when I stood up in Sacrament meeting this morning to sing our opening hymn, the Star-Spangled Banner, that I was moved to tears. Only I wasn't moved to tears; at least,

I See... Children of God from Beginning to End

2011-06-26T00:49:00.000-04:00

A child of God. I saw him race through the hallways of the chapel on a sunny, beautiful Saturday morning, bursting with playful promise. I knew him from birth and his parents a lot longer than that. This was his baptism; he and his parents had been waiting eight years for this moment. His future of accountability and stewardship before God started today, and I was honored to be invited to be a

I See... A Mormon Third Eye Father's Day Special! Serious Silliness: How the Three Stooges Blesses the Lives of Men of the Church

2011-06-18T22:54:00.003-04:00

WARNING: LADIES, IF YOU ARE CAUGHT UP IN THE TRADITIONAL “THREE STOOGES ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID BUT I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO I PUT UP WITH IT” MENTALITY LOOK AWAY NOW! THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG AND EMOTIONALLY GRAPHIC! My wife is your typical modern Molly Mormon mom who has bought into this mentality; I'm sure that there are many other LDS ladies out there wrestling with similar issues. So, if you

I See... Moroni's Other Promise

2011-06-11T22:59:00.003-04:00

If you're a recent convert, a recent missionary, or a recent graduate of Book of Mormon 101, you are familiar with the prophet-turned-angel Moroni's famous promise to those seeking a testimony of this other Testament of Jesus Christ: “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye

I See... What to Do When You Catch Your Wife Hugging the Fridge

2011-06-05T23:00:00.002-04:00

One night last week I wandered downstairs looking to refill my supply of chocolate twizzlers. I was in my socks, so I guess my wife didn't hear me shuffle down the hallway. I turned the corner and caught her alone in the kitchen... hugging the fridge! How should any faithful normal Mormon husband react when he catches his wife hugging the fridge? Was she cheating on me? What did that new

I See... Getting Beyond Memorial Daze

2011-05-29T06:09:00.005-04:00

Tis' the season to memorialize. A dedicated few patriots contend that the Memorial Day should be a serious time to deeply reflect on the ultimate sacrifice everyday heroes made on battlefields to uphold our freedoms. An overwhelming majority celebrate nothing but a three-day break from work to shop and recreate. As I sit here on a calm Saturday morning waiting for the delivery of a new fridge

I See... 200 Sessions of Blog Therapy

2011-05-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

For some minor but challenging emotional manias, the cheapest and most effective therapy is blogging. And so it is with the Mormon Third Eye. After 200 consecutive Sundays of blog therapy, I am proud to say that I am much healthier in all aspects. In the spirit of teasing readers with the implied schizophrenic nature of the Mormon Third Eye, the Mormon Third Eye, via the Third Eye Network (TEN

I See... Frank

2011-05-14T14:54:00.003-04:00

During a visit to Monterey, CA., I needed a haircut so I instinctively began to whine internally about the impossibility of locating someone with the credibility, skill and 62 years of experience of my hometown barber in Hampstead, MD. Then came Frank. Frank runs an old-world barber shop in Monterey. He sports a thick Italian accent and has been plying his trade for only 60 years. What came

I See... Captain Moroni Leading Seal Team Six

2011-05-08T13:11:00.002-04:00

Only the Mormon Third Eye sees the connection between Mother's Day and the mercy killing of Usama Bin Laden. In the spirit of likening the scriptures unto ourselves, it saw what would happen if Captain Moroni had led the stripling warriors of Seal Team Six into Usama Bin Laden's compound last weekend? No doubt the final result would have been the same, but how would their last encounter have

I See... When it's OK to Yell at Your Wife

2011-05-01T00:20:00.000-04:00

Every modern Mormon male knows that it is almost never right to raise their voice at their soul mate. Almost. Both a modern and an ancient prophet pointed out the two exceptions, which are critical for all conscientious husbands to be aware of; if the day comes that you have to yell at her, you want to make sure you don't miss the opportunity. The first exception was explained by President

I See... The Miracle of Alma's Easter Message

2011-04-23T21:02:00.002-04:00

I can't remember a time when I was so excited to celebrate Easter. I had this great idea. Normally, I would spend my two-hour round trip commute to the office engrossed in the Book of Mormon on an Ipod running through the car stereo. For this Good Friday, however, I was prepared with a selection of inspiring General Conference talks in Korean, my mission language. I was on the road about 15

I See... The First Thought You Think When You Wake Up in the Morning

2011-04-16T21:03:00.001-04:00

What is the first thought you think when you wake up in the morning? If you were born before 1960, then it's probably “what is this pain in my back?” or “what is that gross taste in my mouth?” “Did I forget to brush my teeth last night?” or even “where are my teeth?” Our first thoughts can set our sights for the rest of the day. They can frame our reference and direct our desires, First

I See... Marriage for Losers

2011-04-10T13:19:00.005-04:00

Marriage is for losers. That is, if you want to enjoy a long, happy marriage, you have to be committed to being a big loser. In fact, it's best if you are both losers. First, it is important for both husband and wife to lose themselves in selfless service to each other. There is a lot of talk about young people finding themselves. In a successful marriage relationship, mates will most often

I See... the Same Thing Over and Over Again

2011-04-03T21:37:00.003-04:00

WARNNG: THIS IS ONE OF MY LONGER POSTS. I'M SORRY. HANG IN THERE. IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER THE LONGER YOU READ. The Priesthood is the power to act in God's name. Charity is the pure love of Christ. The Savior atoned for both our sins and our sorrows. Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, and the Book of Mormon is the word of God. Sincere fasting and heartfelt prayer can bring miracles

I See... Plain Thinking

2011-03-26T18:35:00.002-04:00

The last five years of my life I've been doing a lot of plain thinking. Whether it's for work or for relatives; for a short hop to Boston, or an endurance run to Asia, I've been spending more time in a plane trapped with my thoughts. Even with the advent of modern communications, I still feel cloistered from the busy world below at 30,000 feet above. It is ironic that the faster I go the slower

I See... Why the Stake President Always Speaks Last

2011-03-20T14:24:00.000-04:00

“BYU slaughtered Gonzaga last night!” “Who is that new family sitting in the back?” “I'm going to wait until Ellie fills her pants again before I take her out...” “Luke, I am your father!” “somebody left their Cheerios on our bench... I wonder if they are still good...” “I'm hungry!” “I'm tired!” “Do you think I'm pretty?” As I scan the horizon of our ward conference sacrament meeting crowd

I See... Why a BYU Sports Team Will Never Win a Major Collegiate National Championship... Probably...

2011-03-13T15:47:00.002-04:00

Say What? The Mormon Third Eye, the most ardent supporter of the Blue and White, predicting doom for BYU? Before the cyber death threats start and fans start calling for my temple recommend to be pulled, listen to my reasoning. To marshall the superb skills necessary to overcome all challengers and win a national championship, a team and its school needs to devote everything to the cause; yes

I See... Going Through Hell

2011-03-06T15:17:00.002-05:00

I know that this blog's mission statement emphasizes the positive aspects of what the Mormon Third Eye can see, so don't let this title mislead you. Going though hell can be a positive, uplifting experience if you are on the way to Heaven. God designed Life in the Plan of Salvation to unfold this way; it's s result of the War in Heaven. There must be opposition in all things so that we may

I See... How to Deal With Bad Dreams

2011-02-27T14:20:00.004-05:00

What makes a bad dream bad? By definition, it would be the opposite of good reality. The model Mormon member is taught and believes that good reality is when good wins and bad loses. Hence, for them, a bad dream is when bad wins and good loses. It doesn't make sense at all, which makes it a dream. Hence, the only effective solution to combating the looming darkness that sticks with you after a

I See... How to Resist Temptation

2011-02-20T13:40:00.002-05:00

The Mormon Third Eye specializes in bringing to light hidden, little-known, or otherwise under-appreciated remedies for many of the common maladies that seem to befall a typical member of the LDS faith. Technically, dealing with temptation is a challenge for all those who won the war in heaven and earned the right to work out their salvation on earth, but those who were born in the gospel or

I See... How She Knows that You Love Her

2011-02-13T15:13:00.002-05:00

This is an excellent question to have an answer for the day before Valentine's Day, and if you keep reading, the Mormon Third Eye will have it for you. For you male readers, you're going to want to know what you need to do to impress her with the depth of your love. For you female readers, you have the toughest part: how to recognize that the goofy thing your male counterpart has done is a

I See... an Unbroken Fast

2011-02-06T15:45:00.003-05:00

The law of the fast is one principle of the gospel that still challenges me. I believe in it and have faith in it until it is time to live it. Then, more often then not, the natural man takes over and I end up spending more time thinking about what I'm missing temporally rather than what I should be getting spiritually. The last hours on Sunday afternoon are particularly grueling. 93

I See... How to Be Truly Happy Doing Housework

2011-01-23T20:20:00.005-05:00

The Mormon Third Eye, enjoys a long, proud tradition of providing practical advice to the LDS community on how to get things done. Whether it be how to stay awake in church, how to say really long prayers, or just how to shake the very powers of hell, you can be certain you'll find news you can use here. Although technically, I haven't done a lot of actual, what you could say is housework, I

I See... Losing Faith

2011-01-23T17:50:00.003-05:00

My great-great grandfather William Tait left his frail, pregnant young wife Elizabeth in Poona, India, not far from Bombay, in the Spring of 1855 for Zion. He had to exercise great faith that Elizabeth would be able to safely follow him after the birth of their third child. He had no contact with her again until 18 long months later, in October 1856, when he rescued his precious Elizabeth on

I See... a Prophet's Voice

2011-01-16T13:47:00.005-05:00

Stake Conference was shaping up to be a disaster. Due the wide geography our stake covered, the Sunday session was being broadcast from the Stake Center to our outlying chapel via the internet. However, due to prominent audio distortion that made every speaker's voice thoroughly scratchy and raspy, the messages being shared were indecipherable. This was personally particularly troubling because I

I See... Marriage in an Alternate Universe

2011-01-09T13:44:00.004-05:00

This actually happened. [[Scene: Husband comes home from a long day at work. Wife has spent a long day in back pain and schlepping toys around the state of Maryland all day as a part of her work-from-home small business. Both are sitting down at the dinner table, finishing up their meal, talking about their day. Husband starts to get up to take his dirty dishes to the sink:]] [[Husband starts

I See... New Things

2011-01-02T17:24:00.003-05:00

It's a new year and time to see new things. Everyone will do something new this year. Someone will start a life, school, a job, a hobby, and even a relationship with someone else they can love The Mormon Third Eye specializes in seeing new things. What will it see this year? Who knows? If it told you now, it wouldn't be new... Last year, however, the Mormon Third Eye saw something new that

I See... The Year Christmas Didn't Come From a Store

2010-12-26T21:58:00.001-05:00

Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" The Grinch, in the Grinch that Stole Christmas, 1966 Many Christmas traditions are enduring and meaningful; others are superficial and unxplained. I know one family that shaves their cat every Christmas; another family holds a Charlie Brown Christmas dance concert.. For many

I See.. What the Other Kid Said to Santa Claus

2010-12-18T22:53:00.001-05:00

Santa Claus made a visit to our ward Christmas party last week. I chatted with him for a moment before he hopped on his sleigh back to the North Pole. It's both traditional and polite to show an interest in other people's interests, so I asked him how his evening in our ward went. “Say Santa,” I queried with casual concern, “ what are the kids asking for this year?” “Well...” replied Santa,

I See... The Power of the Wand

2010-12-12T14:37:00.003-05:00

For about 364½ days of the year, I am a nameless face in several different crowds; one of a million federal government functionaries during the week, one of 14 million Mormons near the end of the month making home teaching visits, and one of many millions of fathers and husbands struggling to keep kids out of jail and a wife out of debt. In a continuous quest for unique respect, I always fail.

I See... When You are Smarter Than a Donkey

2010-12-04T21:05:00.000-05:00

Are you smarter than a donkey? And why is this important to know at Christmas? When Isaiah prophesies of the Savior in Isaiah 1:3, he implies that while barnyard animals such as donkeys acknowledge the divine nature of Christ, his people do not: “The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master’s crib: but Israel doth not know, my people doth not consider.” As we greet this Christmas season

I See... When BYU and U of U Cooperate

2010-11-28T14:12:00.001-05:00

Elder Uchtdorf, in his classic address on Pride and the Priesthood in October General Conference, specifically referenced the lack of civility in the “Laboratory of Sports.” Yesterday afternoon at the BYU/UofU game, the Mormon Third Eye witnessed what can happen when two college football teams put aside their pride- a nail-biting classic with University of Utah winning in the last seconds. It was

I See... a Colonoscopic Christmas

2010-11-21T11:14:00.002-05:00

Our family is giving Christmas a colonoscopy this year. Say what? Before I tell you that story, and I have to tell you this story. This Story I decided to give my wife a colonoscopy for Christmas. Er, I mean, give her MY colonoscopy, That is, my wife wants me to hang around for a long time, and all the experts agree that after you enter the second half of your earthly existence, one of the

I See… Why I am Drawn to the Tiki Torch

2010-11-14T14:53:00.003-05:00

A vacation on Hawaii with my wife a few weeks ago convinced me that I am gradually slipping into a state of retro-senescence. However, before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this story. This Story When I was, very young, I was fascinated with fire and flames. The concept of dancing flames consumed me metaphorically. However, as I

I See... When Nobody's Perfect

2010-11-07T22:54:00.002-05:00

The Mormon Third Eye had one of those weekends. You know, one of THOSE weekends. I returned from a long business trip on Saturday evening with a vicious bout of upset stomach mingled with stronger than normal jetlag. I missed all my Sunday meetings, then spent 5-6 hours wrestling with my Internet provider before service was restored. At the close of a Sunday that unfortunately felt like any

I See... Why I Started Watching Television Again

2010-10-31T03:07:00.003-04:00

Television is veritable cultural wasteland. It is truly fulfillment of Isaiah's prophecy that in the last days, there would be those “that call evil good, and good evil.” I am a “social television viewer;” I watch a few sitcoms and movies just to bond with my family on the weekends. However, in September I started religiously watching one particular crime drama again. Why? Because I'm in

I See... That Awkward Phase

2010-10-24T17:58:00.001-04:00

All of us will no doubt survive that awkward phase as we grow up to blossom into respectable, productive grandparents. Human development experts may try to convince you that an earlier era of our lives is more challenging; that phase when boys become men and girls become women, when they grow their identities and decide who they will become. They will ardently claim that there is nothing more

I See... Dancing Like it's the Last Night of your Life

2010-10-16T22:53:00.002-04:00

On the way home from work the other day, between Alma 31 and 32, my fingers accidentally brushed against the FM radio button and the pulsating disco beats of apparently one of modern music's greatest hits, “Dance Like its the Last Night of Your Life” invaded the cabin of my tiny Hyundai Accent. According to what I could piece together based on the few words that must have unintentionally slipped

I See... How to Know if Your Wife Really, Truly Loves You

2010-10-10T14:10:00.001-04:00

Sisters, I recommend that right now, before you read any further, you go back to your housework, scripture study, or home business; the rest of this post is relatively boring and useless compared to what you usually fill your day with. Brethren, have you ever wondered if your wife really, truly loves you? Loves you with that love that endures all hardship and trial, that love that takes you

I See... When What We Hear is More Important Than What They Say

2010-10-04T17:26:00.002-04:00

I heard Elder Oaks instruct saints in a stake conference many moons ago that “what I say is not as important as what you hear.” This succinct and thought-provoking statement has moved me to many rounds of deep thinking about how I well I prepare myself to receive inspired counsel in church meetings. Hence, during conference sessions, the spiritual food we extract from messages are more

I See... Why, If you are a Man in the Church, you are Just Plain Dumb if you Don't Serve at the Annual Stake Relief Society Dinner

2010-09-26T15:50:00.003-04:00

It was my privilege to spend roughly nine pleasant hours yesterday at the Stake Center helping the Stake Relief Society prepare, implement, and clean up after the annual dinner and General Broadcast. There are three really good reasons why I dedicated so much time to becoming a Relief Society gopher for a day. But, before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this story. Serving others is

I See... Disney Moments

2010-09-19T22:34:00.004-04:00

Beautiful princesses dancing majestically with grotesque beasts; manly high school basketball stars inspiring the masses with moving vocal performances in the high school play; plain girls laboring in filthy cinders transformed into a Prince's true love at the ball; these are the Disney dramas that comfort us. They usually involve an unlikely hero conquering seemingly insurmountable odds to

I See... When a Boy Becomes a Man

2010-09-11T22:55:00.003-04:00

In the make-believe world of relative morality that too many of us are forced to live in, the superficial process of a boy becoming a man usually involves dangerous sexcapades or getting drunk beyond one's ability to remember what sex they are. Conversely, in the real world of prophets and apostles and testimonies and scripture, the process of a boy becoming a man is more likely to include

I See... Burying Your Testimony

2010-09-05T18:50:00.001-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye attended a someone else’s fast and testimony meeting today, and heard one of the ward’s newest members, a freshly-baptized 8-year old boy, “bury” his testimony. It was very cute, and everyone knew what he really meant, but it caused the Mormon Third Eye to view testimonies from a different angle. How could one “bury” his testimony? How many of us are “bury”ing our testimonies

I See... the Right Priorities of Family and Faith

2010-08-29T16:16:00.002-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye saw what it could see at the Restoring Honor Rally at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC yesterday. It was an inspiring event full of hallowed accounts of heroes in faith, hope, and charity. What the Mormon Third Eye saw, however, were two lasting examples of great, powerful men who, in the midst of their successful lives, had their priorities straight with their family

I See... Why the Stake President Always Speaks Last

2010-08-22T18:15:00.001-04:00

One valuable service the Mormon Third Eye strives to provides readers is cogent explanations of “The Unwritten Order of Things,” or as Boyd K. Packer was tempted to describe it, "The Ordinary Things about the Church Which Every Member Should Know." The collection of queries encompassing the Unwritten Order of Things ranges from the silly (green jello at ward parties?) to the sacred (temple

I See... The Rescue

2010-08-15T08:07:00.003-04:00

We were deep in the throes of Snowpocalypse February 2010, but all was right with the world. Work and school was cancelled, and the whole family was watching growing snow drifts peacefully envelope the home around us. We had a store of dry firewood, lots of yummy food storage, several thick mink blankets, and a Star Wars

I See... Enduring to Eternity

2010-08-08T14:36:00.003-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye “saw” this thought resting on top of an Arizona butte watching one of God's sunsets unfold before him. “All things have their likeness, and all things are created and made to bear record of me.” (Moses 6:63).Although my testimony is just as strong as the next middle-aged Mormon man, until this sunset I was puzzled by a seemingly contradictory commandment- How do we “endure

I See... A Call to Righteousness

2010-08-01T13:00:00.001-04:00

In a land of liberty, how do we defend threats against it? What role do the common folk like you and me play? What does the Lord expect of us?Surely the best defense is a strong defense. George Washington understood this and so did Captain Moroni. The President advocated maintenance of a standing military and the Captain had his men build walls and watchtowers around their cities, and

I See... When Missionaries Die

2010-07-25T16:05:00.002-04:00

It was the sweltering summer of 1978 and Bro. Rhee Ho-nam had just started his service as President of the Korea Pusan Mission. Baptized almost 25 years earlier as one of Korea's founding church members, he was a man of immense faith who trusted that the Lord knew him better than he knew himself, and would empower him to

I See... the Best Ward in the Church

2010-07-18T12:57:00.002-04:00

If you really want to determine the best ward in the church, there are two proven methods- the scientific method, and the spiritual method. The Mormon Third Eye will provide a brief explanation of both approaches, allowing you to choose.The Scientific ApproachThis option is labor-intensive but has been known to work effectively when applied in some form in the business world. It involves

I See... How to Stay Awake in Church

2010-07-11T15:49:00.003-04:00

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC LEXICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT CHURCH- YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE A SHORT NAP BEFORE READING IT TO AVOID FALLING ASLEEP AFTER READING IT The Mormon Third Eye maintains a long and rich tradition of providing discriminating readers practical advice on how accomplish the great work of

I See... Freedom Fighters

2010-07-04T12:50:00.003-04:00

When most of us hear about “Freedom Fighters,” I'm sure we conjure up in today's minds small bands of hairy, wild eyed radicals armed to the teeth with automatic weapons, secreted in wilderness caves or camps, waiting to launch surprise attacks against an evil, oppressive power ruling the people with an iron hand. These Freedom Fighters liberate captive masses.We should not forget, however, that

I See... Imperfect People Who Will Save the World

2010-06-27T14:11:00.001-04:00

The Mormon Third Eye is convinced that imperfect, flawed people will save the world. When slavery and state's rights tore the Union in two, President Abraham Lincoln, a flawed manic depressive, struggled with strategies to win the Civil War. The Northern States held clear advantages in almost every important category except

I See... the Quintessential Father's Day Movie

2010-06-20T11:33:00.003-04:00

When it becomes my turn to create and populate worlds, it will probably look and feel and operate similar to the one we currently occupy with one exception- on Father's Day, all families will be required to huddle around the Blue-Ray DVD player and watch the movie “Hook,” the version with Robin Williams as Peter Pan and Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook. When it was first released in 1991, our

I See... My Mormon Carpool Buddies

2010-06-13T06:51:00.002-04:00

It's almost a law of empirical physics on the East Coast that the more routine your Federal Government job is, the farther away from work you must live. In the People's Republic of Maryland where I live, that means a one-hour commute each way. Furthermore, the government salary means I have to get there with carpool buddies. Although I'm lucky that they almost all happen to be Mormon, they are

I See... Who Really Matters

2010-06-05T21:58:00.000-04:00

One night a few weeks ago our small family gathered around the hot chocolate table in the living room for a short round of family scripture reading. Just before we started, a distant cell phone ring emanated from a hidden corner of the house. My daughter immediately identified it as my wife's blackberry. “Mom! I think that 's your phone! Aren't you going to answer it?” Her answer was a

I See... the Year of the Carpet

2010-05-30T08:19:00.001-04:00

In the Western tradition of marriage, every year has a meaningful gift associated with it. The longer one is married, the more valuable and meaningful the gift. The early years start out with cheap but useful materials like paper and fruit. As the years pass more precious metals appear on the list; silver, gold, and diamond anniversaries. So, in the Tait family, what do you give for the

I See... Righteous Trash Talking

2010-05-23T08:42:00.002-04:00

Recent guidance from the Church's Public Relations Department encourages civil discourse when we feel the need to disagree: “Latter-day Saint ethical life requires members to treat their neighbors with respect, regardless of the situation. Behavior in a religious setting should be consistent with behavior in a secular setting. The Church hopes that our democratic system will facilitate kinder and

I See... When Life is Full of Cookies and Flowers

2010-05-15T20:58:00.001-04:00

When I was young, very young, my life was full of cookies and flowers. I would ride my bike down to the creek and pick wildflowers for mom. She would bake us fresh chocolate chip cookies. Life was good.I've lived a lot of life since then. One mission, one wife, two kids, two jobs, and at least three cars and homes later, my life is still full of cookies and flowers. My son, home from his

I See... A Heavenly Mother's Day

2010-05-09T08:43:00.001-04:00

I See... A Heavenly Mother's Day(Warning: This is deep gospel doctrine according to the Mormon Third Eye and no one else) For 363 days every year, mothers carry a heavy load relatively unsung by worldly standards.. They are changing our diapers, wiping our noses, washing our clothes, cooking our meals, driving us everywhere, and teaching us the gospel in our bedtime stories, our family nights,

I See... The Other Sacrament Meeting

2010-05-02T14:27:00.000-04:00

Every Sunday in every time zone thousands of Sacrament meetings are held. Faithful saints gather to worship the Savior and renew their their covenants. The neurotypical member expects to learn what's going on in the ward, partake of the Sacrament, and be enriched by talks prepared with pondering and care. Elder Dallin H. Oaks once told us in Stake Conference that “what you hear is more

I See... The Greatest Miracle

2010-04-25T22:31:00.001-04:00

“Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that they shall no more say, The LORD liveth, which brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt; But, The LORD liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.” ( Jeremiah 23:7-8)I am one of the

I See... Real Mormon Fortune Cookies

2010-04-18T09:01:00.001-04:00

The Mormon Fortune Cookie concept is not new. The Internet is pretty populated with carefully crafted FHE lesson resources and LDS date night ideas referencing creating fortune cookie activities infused inspirational sayings like “Only love can conquer hate” and “Repentance is spiritual freedom; free yourself today..” The

I See... When Parents Steal From Their Children

2010-04-10T22:32:00.002-04:00

((note to readers: the Mormon Third Eye, constantly striving to pushing the envelope on cutting edge blog methodology, is doing it again with this, the first post in response to a reader's request on a specific topic. Yes, I take requests!))Third Eye News (TEN)- In a stunning move destined to disturb Marvin and Molly Mormons for millennia to come, authorities conducted a nationwide sting

I See... The Longest Drive

2010-04-04T11:27:00.002-04:00

“Road Trip!” These are the motions that make memories. When I was a youngling, almost every year for many years in the 60's and 70's, seven busy kids and two bold parents would pile in the family station wagon or van and spend two summer weeks making the family circle visiting extended family- San Francisco to Los Angeles to

I See... The Kitchen Fairy

2010-03-27T21:18:00.003-04:00

I live in a house full of fairies. A few years ago I blogged about the amazing work of the “Laundry Fairy,” a mysterious and beneficient being who magically turns my dirty, stinky, wrinkly clothes randomly wadded in the clothes hamper into bright, clean, and smartly stacked apparel lovingly arranged in my drawers and closets. It turns out that there is another fairy working her magic in our

I See... Being the Voice in Someone Else's Head

2010-03-21T14:31:00.002-04:00

Traditionally, “hearing voices” is an activity reserved for the mentally disturbed. Most of both the real world of yellow journalism, and the surreal world of entertainment, pay too much attention to criminal voices in the heads of those directed to commit unspeakable acts without responsibility or consequence. Except for Kevin Costner being inexplicably instructed to build a baseball

I See... When Fighting Wickedness Becomes Happiness

2010-03-14T08:24:00.001-04:00

Church leadership and doctrine appropriately bombard us with Alma's immortal mantra “Wickedness never was happiness.” Why shouldn't they? An era of unprecedented wickedness and e-ville requires an unprecedented amount of righteous reminders. However, even with the massive sound of a moral flush ringing in our ears as the

I See... the Glass Cup

2010-03-07T07:17:00.002-05:00

Is the glass half-empty or half-full? This is the world's most popular deep query, where the right answer depends on your current perspective and attitude. Does this mean that life and all that surrounds it is relative? I hope not.It is more critical to know how God views the glass. In our puny mortal minds, we constantly limit ourselves to the “arm of flesh;” God, however, sees beyond the